Great book to read about CSA

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It takes a long time to read books about Childhood Sexual Abuse, even longer to recover between those readings.  Each one has a emotional cost. Some I have read are not so great, leaving me worse off than when I started reading, others have been pretty good. Even rarer has been a great book and this is one of them.

Written by Christina Enevoldsen and named The Rescued Soul: A writing journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal.

As you know, we aren’t born with a sense of who and what we are to be. Psychologist call this a sense of self.  Ideally, we grow up and develop it through our interactions with others. Our warm and loving families help us to become a person who has physical, emotional, mental and spiritual maturity. But when we grow up in a family where childhood sexual abuse is going one, we don’t have good boundaries.  (I didn’t even know what boundaries were until a kind therapist told me.)  We are considered sexual objects with little value outside our roles as sexual victims.  This book is about recognizing how we can recreate a person who can be mature in all those ways mentioned earlier with a sense of strength and clarity.  We, through examining our past and present, gain freedom from the lies we were told.  She writes about a way to focus on developing a clear sense of ones self. Writing prompts included in the book help us to move through the muddy waters of unexamined feelings and emotional wounding that childhood sexual abuse has brought into our lives.

I can’t recommend it enough as a starting place for gathering information in how you can proceed to reclaim what was taken from you or if you were very young when the abuse happened, what never developed in the first place. Replacing the blanket of misconceptions, lies and shame with clear boundaries is a worthy starting point in healing our lives. Make you way through the book at your pace and have a voice of someone who is making her way through it too. Discover how you can find out what you want and choose to live now.

If you would like to know more you can find her work at overcomingsexualabuse.com

 

 

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Things I did to get over being raped as a child

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  1. I learned as much as I could about childhood sexual abuse.
  2. I started journaling.
  3. I told people what happened to me.
  4. I kept talking about it to my immediate family. Just couldn’t drop it.
  5. I became a counselor.
  6. I exercised.
  7. I had massages.
  8. I had a child.
  9. I married, twice. Both times to great men.
  10. I never moved back to my family.
  11. I learned how to cook.
  12. I listened to great music.
  13. I learned there were plenty of kind men in my world.
  14. I dressed badly. Kinda still do.
  15. I knowingly put myself in dangerous situations.
  16. I slept around with people I didn’t know or care about.
  17. I avoided my family.
  18. I went to therapy. Group and individual.
  19. I learned to accept compliments.
  20. I learned how to have friends.
  21. I moved to several different states to start over again and again.
  22. I talked about it with my sisters incessantly.
  23. I under ate food.
  24. I went into the Army.
  25. I never learned to play a musical instrument.
  26. I learned how to take care of my home.
  27. I hid out at my house.
  28. I pretended everything was fine.
  29. I lied about how I felt.
  30. I took up religion.
  31. I dropped religion.
  32. I learned how to listen to other people.
  33. I did destructive things to myself.
  34. I cried a lot when I was older.
  35. I overworked to hide from being close to others.
  36. I hated men for a while.
  37. I went to college.
  38. I stopped doing things before they were completed.
  39. I lacked trust in my own perceptions.
  40. I feared way too many things.
  41. I had terrible boundaries until I was much older.
  42. I had nightmares for years.
  43. I learned self defense.
  44. I’m learning how to be comfortable with all of me.
  45. I learned how to not rush through my feelings.
  46. I learned how to protect vulnerable people and animals.
  47. I quit hiding my woundedness.
  48. I quit lying about it.
  49. I tried to drink alcohol, but didn’t like how it felt.
  50. I stayed emotionally stopped up for years.

What kind of things did you try or do to help heal. Any comments?